Run ThirtyGirl Run

I'm training to the Nike Women's Half Marathon at the end of October, here in San Francisco. I'm a little bummed because I twisted my ankle last week, so I am sore. But all in all I am excited.

I'm training with Team in Training, and working to raise funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. They are searching for a cure to blood cancers.

Officially, training starts on Saturday. I'm a little nervous that I am going to be the slowest. But, as noted on my todo list, I am trying to get over it.

on adventure (10)

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
-- Anaïs Nin

negative ghostrider, the pattern is full

Just received a rejection from a boy on my invitation. Ah well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I do feel that my overtures are usually rebuffed, though. Is that becuase I don't do it right?

What is the right way to ask a person out? If I'm going to get to 24 dates (with more than one person) I am going to have to figure it out. Because there is no guarantee that people I am interested in are necessarily going to ask me.

The other boy just called me, and wanted some company - I'm still interested, but just feel like I don't want that distraction right now. Not that I am uninterested - just that I keep hoping for that spark of something more.

The spark that has me reaching - not just being reached for. The spark that makes me want to drop everything, at least for a little while. The spark that has me hanging on their words, listening for their voice for endless hours without excess judgment.

This is why the 24 dates are so necessary, I think.

the boy who works

Tonight i sort-of asked him out via e-mail. I've thought about asking him out before, but the opportunity never presented itself.

I'd be into getting to know him better.

Also, my sister and her boyfriend broke up today. This makes me feel sad, but also sort-of glad for her because she is getting to move on to the next important thing in her life, and to make some space for herself. Love to you, darlin'.

barriers

In the last week, I've been told by people I consider friends (including an ex) that i:

• ...am very private
  
• ...have a lot of barriers
  
• ...have a lot of walls
  
• ...try to pretend i'm not deep
  
• ...have very clear boundaries which keep people out
  

this has left me feeling sad that people don't feel like they really know me. glad to be writing a blog, but also really wondering what it is that maintains that separation.

Boldness

Bold,
originally uploaded by jteore.

When I got home last night I emailed F. - just flirting a little, really. He hasn't replied, so now I am second guesing myself. I know that the second-guessing is a bad idea, but the self-defeating sense of making a mistake can be overwhelming.

I'm trying to learn to take things less seriously. It's hard but worth it, I think. In the past month both my sister and my best friend from high school noted my seriousness. And offered the insght that I might want to have a little more fun. And a couple of school-mates told me that I had made their "top 10 people we want to see drunk" becuase they know "there's a wild child inside."

hmm.


update: so he replied. we're making a plan.