Saturday, December 30, 2006

on adventure (7)

"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri Frederic Amiel

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

negative ghostrider, the pattern is full

Just received a rejection from a boy on my invitation. Ah well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I do feel that my overtures are usually rebuffed, though. Is that becuase I don't do it right?

What is the right way to ask a person out? If I'm going to get to 24 dates (with more than one person) I am going to have to figure it out. Because there is no guarantee that people I am interested in are necessarily going to ask me.

The other boy just called me, and wanted some company - I'm still interested, but just feel like I don't want that distraction right now. Not that I am uninterested - just that I keep hoping for that spark of something more.

The spark that has me reaching - not just being reached for. The spark that makes me want to drop everything, at least for a little while. The spark that has me hanging on their words, listening for their voice for endless hours without excess judgment.

This is why the 24 dates are so necessary, I think.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

the boy who works

Tonight i sort-of asked him out via e-mail. I've thought about asking him out before, but the opportunity never presented itself.

I'd be into getting to know him better.

Also, my sister and her boyfriend broke up today. This makes me feel sad, but also sort-of glad for her because she is getting to move on to the next important thing in her life, and to make some space for herself. Love to you, darlin'.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

on adventure (6)

“Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.” -- John W. Gardner

Friday, December 22, 2006


originally uploaded by thirty girl adventures.
So, this is my firey lotus tattoo. Thank you Idexa!

My sister and I have both been tattooed by Idexa, and she is fantastic. I feel so happy and grounded in taking this step. It is for me - it represents important aspects of my life, personality and who I am and want to be.

Monday, December 18, 2006


Oh yes, I took the plunge. I got tattooed today by the lovely Idexa at Black and Blue. The whole endeavor was less painful than i expected, and I am very happy that I have taken the plunge. I will post a photo very soon. xxx

Saturday, December 16, 2006

on adventure (5)

“Every production of an artist should be the expression of an adventure of his soul.”
– William Somerset Maugham

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Exams and Boys and Escape

Why do things always seem to flood down after a long drought? I mean, no dating worth mentioning for more months than I care to remember. And now several possibilities?

There also seems to be something about holidays and exam time that makes everything happen all at once.

In a way, this makes me so glad to be leaving for a few weeks. To have a change of scenery, see far-away friends, and to separate from the bizarre-o world that i sometimes feel i occupy. There's actually a boy I wouldn't mind dating while i'm on my little trip. Too bad he's a friend/coworker of my father's.....

And then there's always W. who continues to send notes about my "sassy" hair. is this flirting or just flirting? Hmm.

Monday, December 11, 2006


In the last week, I've been told by people I consider friends (including an ex) that i:

  • very private
  • ...have a lot of barriers
  • ...have a lot of walls
  • ...try to pretend i'm not deep
  • ...have very clear boundaries which keep people out

this has left me feeling sad that people don't feel like they really know me. glad to be writing a blog, but also really wondering what it is that maintains that separation.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

on adventure (4)

What I love most about this crazy life is the adventure of it.
– Juliette Binoche

Friday, December 8, 2006


originally uploaded by jteore.
When I got home last night I emailed F. - just flirting a little, really. He hasn't replied, so now I am second guesing myself. I know that the second-guessing is a bad idea, but the self-defeating sense of making a mistake can be overwhelming.

I'm trying to learn to take things less seriously. It's hard but worth it, I think. In the past month both my sister and my best friend from high school noted my seriousness. And offered the insght that I might want to have a little more fun. And a couple of school-mates told me that I had made their "top 10 people we want to see drunk" becuase they know "there's a wild child inside."


update: so he replied. we're making a plan.

Thursday, December 7, 2006

oh, boys

Today, I saw one boy in the subway, another was text-messaging me right and left, and, oh yes, I've developed a crush on this new boy. We had a nice conversation yesterday, and saw him tonight while we waited for a class. He's sweet. A little short, but indeed, i am crushing.


originally uploaded by ArtFemme.
Have you met Pandora? If not, go to the website. Now. I'm serious. Pandora is an awesome music player that lets you create an internet radio station based on one (or a group of) artist that you like. It makes predictions about what other tunes you might be into, and is a great way to get introduced to new music.

You can try it for free, and without the annoyance of putting in any personal info for a little while. Then, of course, they make you sign up. But it is so worth it.


I love Imogen Heap.

One of my lucky friends was at her concert last night and left me a voicemail of the song Headlock which i think is virtually perfect. Here's the video from YouTube. Official Video of Headlock

You can get the lyrics, too.

Monday, December 4, 2006

being the last

when i was in high school i wanted birkenstocks. but then they got so trendy. and so i decided not to get them. i resisted doing what i wanted becuase it was too trendy. of course, at the end of my senior year, i broke down and bought them. i've succumbed to the same anti-trend-following madness about burning man.

i've known about burning man since i was, i don't know 17? probably the same time i broke down and bought the birks. but i've never been. and now it's so huge and i feel like i'm too late.

clearly this is one of my get over it things for this year. i'm not too late.

being last is ok.

Saturday, December 2, 2006

on adventure (3)

“If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything.”
- Win Borden

Friday, December 1, 2006

Beginning of the Month

So I have had my birthday. I'm starting a to do list for my thirtieth year -- and am going to make monthly progress reports. To start off, I have made progress toward the tattoo - and have my appointment in 3 weeks. I've painted one painting, had no official dates, no sex, etc. But I'm just getting started. I am sure there will be more of interest by Jan. 1, 2007.